Fingers are used to express words lips cannot.

Please, I just need you to listen. I don’t need your judgemental thoughts or your lack of understanding. If you don’t really care, pretend to. I just need a pair of ears to listen; to be open to the fact that I could possibly have thoughts that you don’t agree with. I’m sure I’m not the only one who needs it. It’s just a pair of ears. What could you possibly being doing with yours at this very moment? I’m sure that song is great but maybe what one person has to say is worth pressing that pause button. I just need you to listen. Be open to all I have to say. Save your side notes for when I have finished spilling out my entire life story. There is a song in my heart I want to sing, but what’s the point if there in nobody is there to listen to it? Everyone might as well be deaf. Seems to be that way anyways. We as people are listening into our own song and tuning everyone else out. We all need to share how we feel, what we think, our experiences, what makes us happy, alive, and sad; we need to let people express themselves freely with words and their art. Whatever they feel they must do to let others know that this is who they are, or this is how they feel, they must speak it. All we ever need is open ears. All we’ll ever need is understanding, but how can you find that with judgement everywhere around us? It’s as if we are meant to close up and stay in our confined corners until we just blow. Nothing should ever be that torturous. Nothing should ever have to build up because of lack of understanding. It’s too easy for that to be avoided. So just open up those ears and listen. Listen and understand that we don’t all think the same or act the same. We all have different thoughts and opinions about everyday life. We all think differently but in the end we are all the same. So just remember to listen with open ears and closed mouths.

So I’m on my way to school. From dash to sol I sit and wait.runaways run into some rather odd characters. I try to blend in with everyone as much as possible in order to start invisible to the world but some people don’t and do whatever they can to be seen or heard.

Coming home the other day I saw a man completely drunk out of his mind attempting to cross the street. And yes I do mean attempting to cross. I was on the dash headed home so I’m not quite sure if he made it all the way, but I hope he did.

Today, I saw my boyfriends dads friend go and hide behind a bush in front of someone’s house and start smoking something. I feel sorry for her. I’m sure there are people out there that want to help her, but she doesn’t accept that and continues doing what she does. It’s true I don’t know her story or what she has been through, but I know plenty of people who have gone through some bad events and have persevered through it all. As a majoring psychologist, I do understand that not one person is the same emotionally. We heal in our own ways, whether they be good or bad, and either come out stronger or worse off. We choose to be the people we are. No matter how bad a person gets kicked down we can be good people. We can say who cares what you think about me, I forgive you for hurting me, and I won’t let you bring me down any more. We just need to find that strength in ourselves. It is there, but siting around doing nothing will do exactly that - nothing.

Midday of the week. Woke up at 6:00 a.m. Didn’t get out of bed until 6:45. I realize I was suppose to write my daily emotions and feelings starting yesterday day, but what can I say? I’m a procrastinator and really forgetful. Today was a neutral day. I was insanely tired all day. I have been oddly exhausted for the past few days. It must have been due to my anger/emotion filled week I had previous to this one. I hate the cycle I go though. I wish I could always be this emotionally stable. Henry told me that if he knew that I was an “asshole” before he got with me, he would have never gotten with me. He says he was joking, but I know that to be very true. I wouldn’t want to be with a person like me. I don’t even like being around myself at times, but unfortunately I have no way of getting away from myself. Some days I think he really wants to break up with me and those days I place havoc on the world I don’t blame him. I’m really surprised he stayed with me for this long seeing as he doesn’t put up with anyone’s bullshit. He must really love me or just really feel that he has to put up with me because we live together. If it be the latter then that would be awfully devastating. I do realize I do over think things such as this and I drive myself crazy circling the different possibilities; whether they be true or not. I need to stop over analyzing silly things that I could potentially overreact about down the line. I just want to be told the truth and NOTHING but; however, I have yet to find anyone who is willing to do so. Are there any honest people out there that are true to themselves and to others?